The End of Innocence…

Comments: 6

What is it about our emotions that causes us to build up walls around our hearts? We tend to keep people away, even when we truly need someone. We convince ourselves that we’re better off alone to work through it without the help from anyone. It’s so hard to say how we truly feel. Even when you get the courage to speak your mind, something deep inside causes you to hesitate. I know that feeling all too well; “This withered place I’ve seen before” is something that we all have seen in one way or another, and it’s a place we keep in the back of our minds. 

“The End of Innocence” was written about someone who felt that they had no other way out of that withered place, and how the act of taking one’s own life truly affects those closest to you. We’ve all been there in one way or another, that lowest point that some people can’t seem to run from. 

Watching my youngest sister cope with losing her best friend (practically a sister) to suicide was one of the toughest things to watch. Seeing how she was adjusting to life without her, and maturing much faster than a 13 year old really should. It just didn’t seem fair, but then it clicked.

I wrote the music for “The End of Innocence” when I was in a very dark place in my life, much like I described earlier. I was angry, scared, depressed, and just all around lost. I truly believe that is shown from within the instrumental work of the song. After writing it, I felt a release from all of those emotions. Once this horrible event happened, that feeling came back and I decided to write lyrics that reflected the event in a way.

When I finished the lyrics, I knew I had something special. It just seemed to fit into place with the music. I read it to the oldest of my three sisters, and she instantly was amazed and loved it (and this is a girl who mostly listens to country!) That feeling went away again, almost like the song itself absorbed it. I wanted to make sure we had a song for anyone who was going through something similar. Maybe this song will help them the way that writing it has helped me.

My youngest sister still has moments where she still grieves for her best friend, but seeing her live every day to the fullest for both of them is an amazing sight without a doubt. Remember, if you ever feel like you’re in a hole that you can’t dig out of, or in a prison within your mind, there is always someone who cares deeply about you, someone who will help you even when it seems hopeless. There’s always hope.

Check out “The End of Innocence” here

Take care

-TJ

6 Comments

  • Martin says:

    I’m really sorry to hear about your sister’s friend. I’m coming out of my illness now but I’ve battled schizophrenia and panic attacks for over twenty years. Along the way I’ve met five people through the mental health services in the UK who are now no longer with us – all died under forty. It’s tragic and it shouldn’t happen. It makes me feel like one of the survivors! Thank God music and other interests stopped me from going the same way! Liked the track btw – very emotive! Particularly liked the atmospheric guitar solo…wicked!

    • TJ Richardson says:

      Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m glad to hear you are coming out of your illness. It’s very tragic and absolutely should not have happened. I’m sorry for your losses, my friend, but music is a very powerful thing indeed. I’m glad you love the track and can’t wait to hear what you think of the full album! 😀

  • Willie Toro says:

    OMG! I know this dark place all to well. Many of us have been there. Some of us were fortunate to get out of it and some people I knew weren’t so lucky and they decided to take matters into their owns hands and end it all. Music wasn’t enough for them to cope with their situation.
    Sorry about your sister’s friend. Never an easy thing to deal with and get through.

    • TJ Richardson says:

      Its unfortunate that some people cant get out of the darkness. Music has helped me quite a bit, but like you said it doesnt help everyone. Thank you for the kind words! I’m glad you’re enjoying the music so far. 😀

  • David Anthony Rees says:

    So sorry to hear about your sister’s friend. I totally understand the grief she’s dealing with. I lost my sister to suicide in 2002. She got in with the wrong type of people and it just spiralled out of control for her. The first couple of years,I found really hard to deal with. But as time went on it became easier. Every now and then, I have this thought in my head, “What could I have done differently to help her?”. I’m so glad that a band like yours exists. So deep and meaningful. I’m gonna sit down and really listen to every single word on the album. Please give a massive hug to your sister for me and tell her there is always someone listening. A massive hug to you, for being a wonderful brother. Love and respect 😀👍♥️

    • TJ Richardson says:

      I’m so sorry for you loss, my friend. Going through that feeling is tough for sure. I have noticed my sister getting stronger with each passing day. Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoy the music and connect with it in such a way. I’ll be sure to do that! Thank you again for your support. 😀

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